Is There Anything I Can Do For Extra Credit?

To say that I am a member of the Rite Aid Pharmacy’s Frequent Flyer Club is an understatement. A couple of times I have even gotten birthday cards from them. And since it has been a while since I have added a new medication, I usually throw away the detailed drug information that comes stapled to every prescription refill. Somewhere I have a copy of each one on file, and I have the warnings, restrictions, and side effects practically memorized anyway. But when I started Cymbalta last week, I hung on to the drug information and put it aside, telling myself that I would read it later.

To say that I had a lazy weekend would also be an understatement. I had my usual acupuncture hangover of extreme fatigue and a little bit of dizziness, and I’ve also been sleeping a lot ever since I started taking melatonin last week. The combination of acupuncture and melatonin has essentially put me on a one year-old’s sleep schedule: I collapse by 8:30 or 9 pm and sleep until about 7 am, sometimes earlier, and then I collapse around noon for a two-hour nap. Unfortunately, I do NOT have a one year-old’s energy during the hours I am awake, and it has been all I can do to rise from the couch or the MLC long enough to eat something, do the dishes, and take a shower each day. So reading the Cymbalta drug information has not been high on my list.

However, when I did pick up the pharmacy printout, I discovered something new. To be honest, I STILL haven’t read the bulk of the information about warnings and contraindications and “how to recognize suicidal thoughts” (I am not kidding – there really is a section with that subheading). The first page of the packet now features a little section called “My overall Rx score.” And MY overall Rx score, apparently, is an 89%. Underneath this score, I am advised to ask my pharmacist about my Rx score or go to Rite Aid’s website.

So now I’m getting GRADED for my pharmaceutical consumption? This is like one of those dreams where I’m back in high school and I’m flunking everything and I can’t find the cafeteria and I’m naked. And, for that matter, what gives about the 89%? A B+? If there’s ONE subject I should be getting a straight A in, it’s drug taking.

Oh, wait. Maybe the whole stopping-Lyrica-without-medical-supervision counted against me. Or maybe someone found out what I’ve been writing on my blog about the medical industry and I lost points for a bad attitude. Wouldn’t be the first time.

So I went to Rite Aid’s website and reluctantly entered all kinds of personal information so I could register for an account. That process completed, I looked everywhere for a place to ask about my Rx score. I looked through every single page on the website and couldn’t find anything. So now, if I want to know why I got a B+, I’ll have to suck it up and go ask the pharmacist – but I’ll never do that. I would be way too embarrassed.

All I have to say is that if this keeps me out of the pharmaceutical Ivy League, I’m going to be really pissed.

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